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Friday, 9 November 2012

Bilal's writing


    Mohamed Ali

 

Mohamed Ali was born on January 17th 1942 in Louisville, Kentucky (America). His father was Cassius Clay Sr and his mother’s name was Odessa Clay. The legend Mohamed Ali was a successful boxer; he started boxing at a very young age.

In the early stages of his career (12 years old) he won 100 consecutive wins, after a few successful years, Mohamed Ali for filled his dreams. He won a gold medal in the Olympics at the age of 18. He was loaded with success and found himself holding the light weight title later on the year.

In 1960 he broke the record as he won 19 matches and 15 knock out. He won the gold medal 3 times and the heavy weight title. He was and will remain the most popular boxer due to the fact he has a colourful personality.

He retired at 1981 but even though he has retired he will continue to be a significant figure and will continue to be one for years to come. Now he lays in bed as he has brain damage due to the fact his major veins are damage.           

6 comments:

  1. *I like it as it had good, relevant information.
    *I also liked your good use of connectives.
    W-To make it even better you could have used more adjectives

    ReplyDelete
  2. *-I liked Bilal's connectives, puntuation, ect.

    *-I liked the picture because it linked on what he was talking about.

    W-I think there is only one thing Bilal can improve and that is a caption.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really liked this particular work as I thought the information was very interesting. Furthermore I liked the image and the different types of sentence openers. This piece of work could be even better if the image had a caption.

    ReplyDelete
  4. *I like your piece of work because your connectives were amazing.
    * I really enjoyed the picture and the writing next to it!

    W Next time you could improve your writing by making your paragraphs longer.

    ReplyDelete
  5. * You have relvent information

    * Your facts very intersting

    W Start with more better openers

    ReplyDelete
  6. *I really like reading this peice of writing because it tells me alot about Muhammad Ali.
    *It also has lots of great language.
    W-I think you should use more interesting openers.

    ReplyDelete