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Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Raeis' writing


The Violent Volcano

 

As peaquil as a dove, the mighty mountain stares at the views ahead,

Slowly drifting off into its deep sleep,

It is a blanket of snow covering the hole which would unleash hell.

 

Slowly, the mountain begins to awake from its slumber,

Trembling ferociously, the vile volcano begins to rumble,

Like an earthquake, it begins to make a light vibration,

It is a bomb waiting to explode.

 

Rapidly, the volcano erupts, unleashing devastation unto the village below,

The demented beast will destroy anything in its path, vexed volcano unleashes poison toxic into the air,

Hells doors are beginning to close.
 
 
By Raeis

9 comments:

  1. You have written an excellent piece of writing, including good use of vocabulary and complex sentences.

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  2. your similes are very intresting such as, As peaquil as a dove, also you have used excellent vocabulary to show effect and some that go with the atmosphere.

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  3. very good but what does pequil mean

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  4. this is an excellent piece of work you have used a range of adjectives and complex sentences

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  5. This is an amazing piece of writing! I like all of your simils in you writing.

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  6. I thourght this was a nice of writing because you have useed adjectives good vocaubulary

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  7. you have written an excellent picee of written,including good use of vocabulary and complex senteces.

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  8. Nice work i really liked your conectives and openers plus puntuation

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  9. Good piece of writing, also good use of VCOP, conectives and puncation!

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