The Raging Sea
Like a
blanket of diamonds the sea softly sang a heavenly
Tune,
Dancing
gracefully then tranquil dove played with the turtles below,
The peaceful
paradise twisted and turned like a ballerina,
Constantly shimmering
like millions of sapphires.
Awaiting his
prey the ravenous savage prepared to pounce,
Spinning
round and round the tempered tornado pounced up immediately,
Devouring
his prey his prey one piece at a time,
The furious
lion leaped and crashed the rocks fiercely.
The hungry was
perished at that very moment.
By Ashraf
Your workm is incredible, the vocabulary is great!
ReplyDeletei like the use of good volcabulary also the way you ended it!
ReplyDeleteI like your work it has diffrent openers and has good adjectives
ReplyDeleteBrilliant use of adjectives and vocabulary
ReplyDeleteI like this work because you have diffrent openers and good adjectives.
ReplyDeleteAn EXCELLENT peice of writing
ReplyDelete*There was an exellent use of metaphores and simillies
*there's exellent use of connectives
you need to improve on using puncuatoin
I like this work beause you have used great adjectives and volacabulary which maked this writing very good
ReplyDeleteI like the use of good vocabulary
ReplyDelete* conncetives
* openers
A wonderful piece of writing, using VCOP, conectives also puncation!
ReplyDeleteAshraf your a level 5 writer great vocabulary!
ReplyDelete* Metaphors e.g a blanket of diamonds
* alliteration hungry hunter
* your work is perfect, however you layout could have been improved.